Who’s in Charge Here?

Maggie is kicking my ass.

This kid. She’s not like the other two. Lisa is 8 years old and I still lay out her clothes for school. She never has an opinion one way or the other; she just puts them on. Bart doesn’t give me any grief either. But Maggie, she’s a different personality altogether. We fight every morning about what she will wear. She always wants a dress, will sometimes settle for a skirt, but despises pants of any kind, even if they’re girly colours or adorned with hearts and butterflies. Why not just let her wear a dress/skirt every day? This morning it was –12c, -20c with the wind chill. It’s too cold for just tights under snow pants. She needs tights and pants. I offer her choices, but unless one of the choices is a dress, she screams and cries and stamps her feet in a fit of fury.

This morning, I dropped off the big guys at their babysitter, then Maggie and I proceeded to her daycare. I noticed the snow plow heading down the street I wanted to turn on, so I went a slightly different route. Maggie freaked out, insisting I was going the wrong way. She WAILED “You’re going the wrong way!” for the entire 12-minute ride to the school, then refused to get out of the car. I finally grabbed her by her coat and pulled her out. In the process, she had kicked off one of her boots, so I unknowingly plopped her in a snow bank in her socks. I had to carry her snow pants and backpack in one hand and a punching, kicking, screaming Maggie in the other. Good times.

Oh sure, she seems sweet...

I find myself negotiating, bargaining with this child all the time... about breakfast, books, toys, going to bed, getting out of bed, tv time, going to school, leaving school… everything! She’s still in a crib because sometimes the only thing I can think to do when she’s being completely stubborn and unreasonable is to throw her in there and close the door to her room.

I don’t want to break her spirit, but I also can’t face another 15 years of her fighting me on everything. I’m used to being in charge; I like being in charge. Maggie seems intent on making me prove my worthiness for the leadership role.

Saving my nickels

My friend’s parents used to save all their nickels in jars. Sometime around mid-November, they would empty the jars, roll all the nickels and cash them in. This was their Christmas money.

I love dealing in cash. As a general rule, I don’t use credit cards or cheques. All bills are paid online, an amount is transferred to savings, then I withdraw cash from the ATM once a week and dole out what I need to for babysitters, dance lessons, groceries and other miscellaneous items one might need in a typical week. I always know how much I have spent and how much I have on hand.

Homer is not quite as disciplined. He’ll stop by the ATM several times a week, play online poker, stop by the beer store and buy himself a new video game without even thinking about it. He agreed when I suggested that this arrangement was, in fact, punishing me for my discipline. I show a lot of self-restraint and do without; he shows none and wants for nothing.

So, we agreed to each take out a budgeted amount each week for personal needs. I will also withdraw grocery and babysitter money and manage those. The result is that he’s wondering how he’ll live on his allowance (which is not small) and I feel like I’ve just hit the jackpot. It’s so much more than I’m used to, that I’ve set aside envelopes to divide my money into four categories:

*Sports - to cover the cost of the kids’ sport/social activities, which usually need to be paid in big chunks at the most inopportune times (about $30/week)

*Charity - to cover anything from school fundraisers, to sponsorships, to outright donations (about $10/week)

*Fun - to cover bigger expenses, like trips, a new camera, Christmas 2009 ($100/week)

*Now - to spend… now! (the amount left over, which is still a lot (for me))

Homer will be saving all of his change in a jar “for a rainy day”. I suppose that’s some kind of (non-specific) system. The man does not like to be tied down.

Looking forward

Last year I did a meme in which I listed (among other things) 4 things I was looking forward to in 2008. Here's what I said and the results:

1. My girls weekend in Chicago - done (and it was so fun)
2. Lisa dancing in her school’s opera - done (and she was awesome)
3. A new dishwasher (because I have suffered long enough) - done (and I can't believe I washed dishes by hand for more than a year)
4. Hearing my sister is pregnant. No pressure. - done (and the story and baby are both spectacular!)

So... given my success in 2008, I'm going to try it again for 2009.

4 Things I'm looking forward to in 2009:

1. New appliances!
2. My girls weekend in NYC.
3. My high school reunion.
4. Collecting my huge lottery win. Hee.

What about you? Anything you're looking forward to in 2009?

Merry merry. Happy happy.

Well hey there. How rude of me to write a post about feeling much darkness, then checking out for a few weeks. I’m fine, we’re all fine. I appreciate the concern. I hope everyone has been enjoying the holiday season.

I have been super busy, even though I’ve been off work since December 12th and I don’t return until January 5th. Sweet.

So, since I last updated...

We’ve had a birthday (8 – gulp)...

.... and a birthday party (Pop Star Karaoke theme):

We’ve had a lot of snow:

Christmas was in there somewhere:

And, just the normal goings-on at Casa Simpson:

Coming up this week... shopping for appliances. Fun, right? My oven died this week (I had to take those ducky cookies to my mom's to bake) and my washing machine has been in bad shape for awhile. I could just call a repair shop, but they’re both more than 12 years old, so I think we’re better off with new (SHINY) models. Of course a shiny range requires a matching shiny fridge, so if we can swing it, that will be in the shopping cart too.

Happy New Year to all my bloggy friends! See you in 2009!

Darkness

Bart had some surgery yesterday. The surgery itself was not a big deal in the grand scheme of things, but he had to be put to sleep. The ‘putting to sleep’ part has had me freaked out for several months, ever since I was told that would happen.

On the weekend, my mind was consumed with dark thoughts. I found myself studying his face, his smile, his gestures. I had a heightened appreciation for his energy and sense of humour. On Monday night, I didn’t sleep at all. The darkness was overwhelming. When a very sleepy Bart appeared at my bedside at 2AM, I pulled him into bed with me, held him and stroked his hair.

For more than two hours in the waiting room, I aimlessly flipped through years-old magazines. I couldn’t tell you what was in even one of them. I know I had a conversation or two with Homer. Again, no recollection of what we talked about.

This morning, Bart was bouncing off the walls. He thinks he went to sleep to get his superhero powers installed. He was going around the house giving everyone “Hot Fire” to make them do things for him. He’s back and he’s fine.

I am so grateful to be out of that darkness.

Cookies and Crafts! - Edited

The kids are doing a bake and craft sale at school. I don't buy most of the fundraising crap they bring home, and I don't have time to volunteer for things, so this is how I contribute.

I made 30 of these: Cinnamon ornaments

And 16 of these: Sled ornaments

And 3 dozen sugar cookies:

The stockings say "Naughty" or "Nice"

My work here is done.
--------------------------------------------
Edited to add:

1. Sugar cookie recipe

2. Royal Icing recipe

Bad date

I usually do my grocery shopping at 8:00 AM on Sunday. I often have a kid or two with me, but it’s still relaxing because it’s usually just me and a few senior citizens in the store at that hour. Other events prevented me from getting there on this past Sunday morning and I had to go in the afternoon instead.

Both Bart and Maggie insisted on coming with me, so off the three of us went, list and bags in hand. At the first store (my usual store), the aisles were a little crowded, but not too bad. They were out of several of the sale items I had on my list, which put me in a bad mood. The line-up at the cash register wasn’t too bad, but the kids were misbehaving when it came time to bag the items (just goofing around, getting in other shoppers’ ways, etc.), which worsened my mood.

At the next store (across the street from the first store), I grabbed a cart and made both Bart and Maggie sit in it. The store was crowded beyond belief and I kind of hate this store anyway for its small aisles. After putting one item in my cart and getting bumped several times by carts and people, I finally said to the kids: “mommy has to get out of here or she’s going to snap.” I got a sideways glance and a smirk from a lady in the aisle. I plucked the kids out and left the cart right there in the aisle (adding to the congestion problem, I know, but I really was going to snap).

There were a few things I had to get before returning home, so I tried the Zellers next door. Apparently Sunday is the day to pull out boxes, leave them in the middle of the aisle and walk away. It’s also the day to use only three of the 16 available cash registers. After fighting with the aisles, I couldn’t face the line-ups at the cash register to buy 3 measly little items. For the second time in 20 minutes, I gathered up the kids, left the cart in the aisle and walked out empty-handed. Bart asked, “Why do we just keep leaving carts in stores?”

I got home and was so flustered that Homer didn’t even question the $40 in groceries I had managed to buy in the 2 hours I was out. It's only Wednesday and we're out of cereal, out of cheese and low on bread and milk. Needless to say, I have an 8:00 AM date with Food Basics this Sunday.