Tuesday, January 22, 2008

He's not really getting it.

So, I broke the news to Lisa and Bart about M0by’s passing.

Lisa broke down into a puddle of tears. She wanted to make sure that he had been taken to the vet. That he wasn’t just really tired and sleeping deeply. That it wasn’t just a bad dream. After an hour or so of allowing herself to cry, she decided to draw a picture of M0by. Then, she looked out at the night sky and decided that the brightest star was the one he would be living on, watching us. Then, she gathered up about 10 books about dogs to read before bed. She asked if we could print the picture I posted yesterday so we could frame it and put it up. When she woke up this morning, she said she dreamed about puppies. She’s okay.

Bart, on the other hand, is a whacko. Seriously. From the moment he learned of M0by’s death, he asked at least 300 questions, some of them a little warped. A sampling:

Can I see a picture of dead M0by?
How did he die?
Where did he die?
Did his tail fall off when he died?
Were his eyes open when he died?
Did he fall in the pool and die?
Did he fall off the roof and die?
Did he really die?
Maggie, did you know that M0by died? Aren’t you sad? Lisa’s sad.
Can I go to [cousin's] house to see if M0by’s dead?
Is he dead in the house now?
Guess what, Lisa? M0by fell asleep and can’t wake up.
Let’s call [cousin] and see if M0by died.
When will M0by be not dead?
Mom, did M0by’s legs hurt so he died? My legs don’t hurt, so I won’t die.
… and so on.

I was exhausted by all the questions. The first thing he asked this morning was “Mom, is M0by still dead?” I’m guessing he’s just not grasping the whole concept of death.

12 comments:

Jess said...

Aww. Your poor kids. I had a really beautiful book about a dog dying when I was little. I showed it to Torsten the first time he came home with me and he cried. It's so tough. Sounds like your kids are learning from it, at least.

Badness Jones said...

Some kids just deal with death in a different way...I remember being about 8 when our dog was hit by a car and killed. When my mom told us I started to cry, and my sister just looked at me and told me to shut up because she couldn't hear the tv. She just needed to deal with it in her own time and way. (btw - she's learned more sensitivity as she's grown!)

JMC said...

Bart sounds like my SB. She finds the idea of death utterly fascinating. Remember this?

Hope Lisa is doing okay.

Welcome to our World said...

I fear that time when I have to teach my kids about death. I guess I am just not sure how to talk about it. I have lost few people close to me and I generally just compartmentalize that sort of thing. It sounds like both kiddos handled it in their own special and equally healthy way!

Don Mills Diva said...

Poor things - isn't it funny how they have reacted so differently. I know it's not funny but I had to giggle at all the questions...

LoriD said...

dmDiva - it's okay, we're laughing at him too! My co-worker had to excuse herself from a phone call this morning because she couldn't stop laughing!

JMC - I do remember that... it still haunts me a bit! :-)

Saly said...

Bart reminds me so much of ED and all of his baby making questions. Lordy!

I read your post yesterday, and am really sorry to hear about the doggy. How sad.

Tessie said...

Hee! He is so funny. Nothing to do but answer each question, I guess, although that seems irritating/funny.

I still remember VIVEDLY my dog Sammy dying when I was about 6 or 7. I even remember what I was WEARING when it happened.

Tessie said...

Uck, it's VIVIDLY, isn't it? Why oh WHY do I have to come back and check the comments? To remind myself what an awesome linguist I am, that's why.

shay said...

aw...I'm so sorry!
Goodbye MOby:(

Family Adventure said...

He doesn't really get it, does he? And maybe, when all is said and done, that's a good thing. But poor Lisa - it must be frustrating for her to hear all these questions!

Heidi

Banana said...

I'm so sorry about Moby.

It's so interesting to me how little people process life.