I was born in the wrong era

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Is there anything more excruciating than shopping for a bathing suit?

We're going away for a couple of days (kids are on March Break). The hotel we're staying in has a pool, so I thought I should get a new bathing suit. My current suit was purchased when I was still nursing Maggie (i.e. when I still had boobs). Now it's just pathetic.

My issue isn't even with my body. I mean my body is not great by any stretch, but for someone my age with three little kids, it's not that bad. My skin, however, is awful. I would really prefer to be as covered as possible without looking like a grandma. I know my arms need to be exposed, but do I also need to show my whole back as well as my whole chest deep down to my (non-existent) cleavage?

I ended up getting something kind of hideous, but it comes up a little higher on the back and has wider straps so I don't feel quite so exposed. The downside is that it almost flattens my boobs entirely. Do you think I can stuff a bathing suit?

Stuff that's bugging me.

1. The sign at the cafeteria that reads:

THIS LINE IS CLOSED!
Another cashier will only be
to pleased to serve you!

(too wordy, “too” spelled wrong; unnecessary! exclamation! points!)

2. Smartfood. I love Smartfood, but not the gross thing is does to my fingers. Squishy, milky, cheesy, guck. I’m going to have to start eating it with a spoon.

3. Daylight Savings Time. Kids go to bed when it’s light (when their bodies think it’s 7:00) and get up when it’s dark (when their bodies think it’s 6:00). How do you think that’s working out?

4. Student politicians. NO ONE thinks you’re as important and cool as you do. (Sorry to anyone who actually ran for student government in college/university. I’m sure you were cool.)