Tuesday, February 17, 2009

Kid watching

I love the chance to just watch my kids.

Like when Bart watches Charlie and the Chocolate Factory for the 6,712th time, but he’s tired, so instead of getting up and dancing to the songs, he just subtly does the hand motions and head nods.

Or when Maggie is at a birthday party at one of those indoor playground places and she goes toe-to-toe with some bratty older boys who won’t let her get on the slide.

Or when Lisa plays school with her Webkinz and Barbies and she’s so serious and officious about the whole thing.

We’ve gone through a bit of a rough patch with Lisa. She has been kind of awful and we have been a little unforgiving. I actually told her on one particularly bad night that I couldn’t stand the sight of her. It was true in that moment. Her crossed arms, her foul expression, her stubborn body language – they all made me so angry, so exasperated, so overwhelmed with thoughts of ‘I can’t do this’.

Of course, as time softened the impact of that moment, my anger settled, her anger settled. We hugged and spoke softly about the things that were bothering us. I apologized and so did she. I cupped her face in my hands and told her how much I love the sight of her and how my heart skips a beat when I first see her in the morning and when I check in on her when she’s sleeping. She gave me a weak smile, then stuck out her tongue and did some googly eyes. “How about that face. Do you like that one?” She’s got a lot of me in her, that girl.

11 comments:

Nowheymama said...

We have been having very, very similar situations with our oldest the past couple of weeks. I know the nasty weather/cabin fever doesn't help, but, man. I am tired of it.

And I love her, of course.

artemisia said...

Oh, this is sweet. ALL OF IT.

Misty said...

These descriptions painted such clear pictures. Ah, kids. They have to be the best things in life. Who else could make you that angry/love that much?

Rolling Off The Edge... Together said...

Kids are the true adventure of a life time, no? Like a roller coaster that never ever stops with its wild ups and downs.

Not Your Aunt Bea said...

Summarized what I have been going through exactly.

Lora said...

for the first time ever i couldn't stand the sight of Jake the other day. I was here all by myself and was ready to scream. I hid in my room.

Jake took the private time to wash our toothbrushes with liquid soap. And didn't rinse.

It was supposed to be a surprise to make us all healthier.

Chantal said...

I find parenting to be such an adventure. All the good and the bad and lots of hard.

Astarte said...

Both my kids are currently grounded b/c they've been so awful to each other/to me/at school. Ugh. Winter, go away!!!! I feel your pain!

Thank heavens they can't talk when they're sleeping, so we can enjoy their little faces peacefully and remember that we love them painfully much.

Kristin.... said...

I read this and had to smile. I know exactly how you feel.

Fiona Picklebottom said...

This-broken-spacebar-is-pissing-me-off.--Anyway,-in-a-particularly-bad-moment,-I-once-picked-up-a-melting-down-temper-tantrum-Beth,-back-when-there-was-that-loophole-in-the-Safe-Haven-law-in-Nebraska-and-people-were-dropping-off-their-teens,-and-started-carrying-her-to-the-car.--When-she-asked-where-we-were-going,-I-told-her-we-were-going-to-Nebraska-so-I-could-give-her-back.--As-bad-as-that-was,-it-did-work.-:)

Bette Creek said...

Funny, how my eight year old has the same effect on me. I swear I never know whom I'm gonna find in her room every morning, Dr. Jekyll or Mr. Hyde. BTW, 10 years old is not much better, just moodier!!