Friday, April 27, 2007

Before work

My morning before work:
  • Wake up at 6:15
  • Go downstairs and transfer the wet laundry to the dryer.
  • Creep upstairs quietly to get a shower in before the monsters wake up.
  • Have my shower, interrupted approximately half-way through by a sleepy-eyed, bed headed preschooler in dinosaur jammies proclaiming "I slept in my bed all night". (Lying bugger did not, seeing as I woke up with your knee in my back)
  • Wrestle my towel away from said preschooler, who thinks it's pretty funny to leave mommy dripping wet and cold
  • Throw on a robe and get preschooler dressed
  • Get baby out of her crib and get her dressed amidst great protest
  • Take little ones downstairs to start breakfast
  • Referee screaming match over Blue's Clues plastic figure
  • Go back upstairs to wake an overtired 6-year-old who was out late for a school event
  • Undo knot in 6-year-old's robe that she just got and JUST WANTS TO WEAR WHILE SHE EATS HER BREAKFAST. Please.
  • Return downstairs to Alphabits hell. Preschooler decided to get started without me.
  • Start toast, hot cereal and cold cereal for 6-year-old, preschooler and baby, respectively.
  • Make a bottle for baby so her fingers don't fall off milking that imaginary cow
  • Put jam on the toast. NOT the raspberry, the strawberry!
  • Transfer toast to Ariel plate. Who knew we were off Cinderella this week?
  • Start cold cereal and toast for 6-year-old and preschooler respectively
  • Run upstairs to wake the husband and turn on the news
  • Get dressed while I'm up there. Jacket's a little wrinkly. It will have to do.
  • Go back downstairs and butter the next batch of toast, sprinkle with cinnamon sugar
  • Run to the basement to retrieve the laundry. Deliver clean boxers to the husband.
  • Plead with the husband to get out of bed so he can help a little.
  • Brush my hair and put on some make-up while I'm up there. No time to dry my hair today; gel will have to do its magic
  • One more get up request to the husband. HE'S UP. Awake and up aren't the same, asshole
  • Back downstairs. Need to make 6-year-old's lunch. Sandwich - check. Vegetables - check. Dip - check. Fruit - check. Juice - check. Lunch made. Now recess: grapes - check. Apples, cut up with a touch of cinnamon sugar - check. All packed in Princess backpack - check.
  • Sorry guys, yep juice is on its way. Yes, you can have the Ariel cup and you can have the Finding Nemo cup.
  • Sub day at school? Shit. I'm taking your lunch to work.
  • Pizza money due today. For May and June? $9 exact change required. Double shit.
  • Back upstairs to scour the nightstands for $9 even. Found it.
  • Back downstairs. Put $9 and duly completed pizza form in a ziplock and into the backpack. All set.
  • Crap. 6-year-old can't go to school in a robe.
  • Back upstairs, pick out some clothes and bring them down.
  • I know you're still waiting for juice. I'll get that while you get dressed.
  • Who leaves the juice jug with only half a serving of juice left? I have my theories.
  • The green shirt is fine. It looks nice. Let's get your hair done. No, it's not done - you slept on it all night.
  • Sorry, baby, I can't let you out of chair yet. I know you'll make a beeline for the stairs.
  • Good morning, babysitter! Baby's got some guk in her eye, make sure you don't share washcloths today. 6-year-old has her play tonight, encourage rest after school. We're low on Homo milk for baby, will have to sub with Skim. Sorry the kitchen's a mess. Again.
  • Are you ready? Okay, I'll get in the car. Hurry!
  • Bye monsters! Have a great day!

His morning before work:

  • Shit
  • Shower
  • Bye monsters! Have a great day!

Converstation on the way to work:

Him: I need a day off soon. I'm exhausted.

Me: Bite me.

3 comments:

Haley-O said...

Ha!!!! Awesome post, Lor! I love it. I always like to know what people's schedules are like -- kind of like peeking in people's fridges! ;) 6:15??? OUCH! the monkey sleeps in till 8:30 and then plays till whenever. LOVE! :)

Swistle said...

I love this, especially your reply to his announcement that he needs a day off soon.

Tessie said...

This is great!

I think the most impressive part was finding the $9 exact change! You are Supermom!

My husband doesn't even have to SHOWER. He wakes up (after repeated increasingly agitated attempts) at 6:15 and leaves at 6:30! God, we are such enablers!