Tuesday, February 12, 2008

Grocery Store Etiquette

If you are 85 years old and you have driven yourself to the store, don’t shop on Saturday.

Right of way goes to the cart travelling the perimeter of the store. Pretend the end of the aisle has a stop sign and proceed only when the intersection is cleared. DO NOT recklessly proceed into the intersection without stopping, then look shocked that you had a near collision with another cart.

If you have chosen to do your shopping at 11:00 AM on Saturday, you do not have the right to sigh loudly at the long line-ups to check-out.

If the stock boy has carelessly left a giant skid of boxes on one side of the aisle, do not park your cart on the other side of the aisle while you select your pop-tarts, thereby blocking all traffic.

If you have more than 10 items, do not stand in line at the “10 items or less” check-out. If you find yourself with 11 items, either chuck the Oreos or stand in another line. Rules are rules.

If you must bring your six children to the grocery store, take extra care to ensure that those who will not fit in the cart are not blocking the aisle. Do not allow the older ones to play tag in the meat section.

Do not let a child that cannot see over the top of the cart to steer the cart. What's cute to you is annoying to your fellow shoppers.

If someone kindly moves their cart aside to allow you to pass by an obstruction, you must proceed PAST the obstruction to then allow the kind stranger to also pass by.

Select your items from the frozen section through the glass doors, only opening the door once a selection has been made. DO NOT stand there with the door open as this will cause the glass to fog up making it impossible for the next guy to follow this rule. It also makes the rest of us cold.

If the sign says “Limit 4”, don’t take 8 and ask the cashier to ring it in twice. You’ll need to go through the line twice or send someone else in, just like the rest of us.

If you have a hacking cough, stay out of the fresh produce section.

31 comments:

Misty said...

*Gulp*

I may or may not have done one of these things. And much like the poor souls on What Not To Wear...I really didn't think it was that bad!

:)

desperate housewife said...

I am in great favor of posting these rules on the DOOR of the shopping center and then making people sign an "agree to comply" contract before being permitted to proceed with their carts.

Miss Perfect said...

Can we also add the parking lot rules? You know - don't honk maniacally when someone is backing out (and nowhere near touching your car).
Do not put your cart in an empty space when there is a cart corrall 2 feet away.
Do not park on the sidewalk outside the store with your flashers on so pedestrians have to walk around you?
I loved this list!

Banana said...

Can you make a pamphlet for me to hand out in from of my grocery store? Thanks.

JMC said...

I AGREE!!!!!!!

Family Adventure said...

I'm sensing a bit of frustration, here, Lori. Had a bad experience on the weekend? Hmmm....(I know, I'm very perceptive).

Heidi :)

LoriD said...

EVERY weekend, Heidi!

Artemisia said...

You have articulated many of my most anger-inducing pet peeves.

My favorite is when folks visit with both of their carts TOTALLY BLOCKING all access through the aisle and then they look annoyed when you ask them to scoot a bit so you can get by.

And would an "excuse me" and "thank you" kill anybody?!?!

And please, push your cart the three feet to the cart corral after you've loaded your groceries into your car. I know you may have a kid in the car, but all you are teaching them by leaving your cart in the middle of the parking lot is how to be lazy and inconsiderate of others. Bah!

There. I feel better. Thanks for letting me vent with you!

Tessie said...

I have never understood that frozen foods thing. I mean, who would WANT to stand there mulling it over with the door open? Yet people do it ALL THE TIME!

Welcome to our World said...

I LOVE THIS! OMG I mentally bitch about all of these things on any given trip to the market!

I would like to add do not cough into the samples left out around the store (Or touch several items before settling on one to eat...)

Do not stand in the middle of the isle contemplating the food items you then look around angrily when someone politely say excuse me.

I agree with Artemisia about the carts - for the love of god help those poor people who have to run around picking up your carts by at least PUTTING THEM back in the place specifically given to them (HOW RUDE!)

Okay one more thing DO NOT LITTER in the parking lot of the grocery. There are SEVERAL large container to throw stuff away in.

Don Mills Diva said...

If only we could get someone to enforce these shopping would be a dream!

Jess said...

This is awesome. And why we try to do our grocery shopping on Friday nights whenever possible.

Pickles & Dimes said...

You hit the nail on the head. With all of them.

Chantal said...

And this list is why I do my shopping on Tuesday night at 9pm. When I enter a grocery store my tolerance for stupidity just plummets. And the grocery stores don't help by making the aisles more and more narrow. Grocery shopping can be a hateful thing.

Mighty Morphin' Mama said...

You are a far, far braver woman than I. I try to never grocery shop on the weekends, pure torture. I absolutely hate the shopping cart crash-up derby. Why can't people just keep an eye out around them, be aware of others. ugh.

Saly said...

AMEN!!

I am a fanatic about my grocery shopping. ESPECIALLY if my kids are with me.

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