Grocery Store Etiquette

If you are 85 years old and you have driven yourself to the store, don’t shop on Saturday.

Right of way goes to the cart travelling the perimeter of the store. Pretend the end of the aisle has a stop sign and proceed only when the intersection is cleared. DO NOT recklessly proceed into the intersection without stopping, then look shocked that you had a near collision with another cart.

If you have chosen to do your shopping at 11:00 AM on Saturday, you do not have the right to sigh loudly at the long line-ups to check-out.

If the stock boy has carelessly left a giant skid of boxes on one side of the aisle, do not park your cart on the other side of the aisle while you select your pop-tarts, thereby blocking all traffic.

If you have more than 10 items, do not stand in line at the “10 items or less” check-out. If you find yourself with 11 items, either chuck the Oreos or stand in another line. Rules are rules.

If you must bring your six children to the grocery store, take extra care to ensure that those who will not fit in the cart are not blocking the aisle. Do not allow the older ones to play tag in the meat section.

Do not let a child that cannot see over the top of the cart to steer the cart. What's cute to you is annoying to your fellow shoppers.

If someone kindly moves their cart aside to allow you to pass by an obstruction, you must proceed PAST the obstruction to then allow the kind stranger to also pass by.

Select your items from the frozen section through the glass doors, only opening the door once a selection has been made. DO NOT stand there with the door open as this will cause the glass to fog up making it impossible for the next guy to follow this rule. It also makes the rest of us cold.

If the sign says “Limit 4”, don’t take 8 and ask the cashier to ring it in twice. You’ll need to go through the line twice or send someone else in, just like the rest of us.

If you have a hacking cough, stay out of the fresh produce section.