Tuesday, October 2, 2007

Critical parenting error. Part 1 of ??????

I made a critical parenting error yesterday. I let Homer take Bart to his check-up by himself. I didn’t go. First time ever. Last time ever.

I sent him with his health card and immunization record. I also said I would like him to ask about two concerns:

1. His sleepwalking.
2. The fact that he seemed to get more overheated than the other kids when he played outside in the summer.

Besides these two things, Bart is a super-healthy boy. He eats well, has lots of energy, never gets sick. He has some speech problems, but nothing alarming given the fact that he’s only 4 years old (has problems with the sounds: L, Th, F, V and imbedded J).

Here are the results of the check-up:

-> Bart is not a sleepwalker. The Dr asked about his sleepwalking behaviour and Homer described late night trips to the washroom and conversations in the dark. No, that is not sleepwalking. What is sleepwalking (I’m pretty sure) are the times that he walks up and down the hall, does not respond if you speak to him, then settles back into bed. Or the times that he does respond but it only comes out as little grunts. Homer didn’t mention those things.

-> We suck (my word) because:
a. Bart has 2 cavities (that magically washed away when I brushed and flossed his teeth last night). Homer said that he usually brushes his own teeth with little help from us. Not even close to true.

b. We rejected speech therapy for Bart because we were “too busy with 3 kids” (yes, he said that). The only thing is that I took him to speech therapy and a hearing test, the speech therapist gave me some at home exercises, I took him back 2 months later and he had improved so much that she wrote on his file: “Will excel with parental coaching. No further intervention recommended.”

c. Bart is likely iron-deficient (indications: he is pale and Homer described the overheating as constant fatigue). Homer also said that Bart eats no red meat (not true). The Dr advised that we try to give him more whole-grain cereals and breads. Um, that IS what he eats. And, my whole family is super-pale. We're Scottish, what do you want?

-> On the plus side (or at least not the negative side), he’s in the 95th percentile for his height and 75th for his weight, which means he’s a big, healthy boy.

It amazes me that Homer spends almost as much time with the kids as I do, but he is absolutely clueless about any of their personal details. And now, my doctor thinks I’m a moron. It’s always the mother’s fault. Seriously, would I do anything to harm this little guy? No I would not.

First day of school!


Tessie said...

Oh dear. My favorite part is where you were "too busy with 3 kids". Haha! I'm surprised he admitted any of this. Well, you tried and now you know!

Laural Dawn said...

Oh dear!
We had a similar incident when Matt was little and I had just returned to work. And, my mike brought matt in to the doctor.
Long story short, since she's also my doctor I just called up her (incredibly wonderful) nurse and clarified.
The nurse said "don't worry - we knew! Matt is just fine."

bananafana said...

HAHAHA so right there with you

I like to let my husband speak first in the dr's office just so I can see what he says (and I stand behind him in case I need to shake my head and/or laugh) but this EXACTLY the reason I always feel like I need to go. my husband is a great dad but . . .

Misty said...

I completely feel you. It is for this reason and this reason alone that I just can't feel comfortable with anyone but myself taking the children to the doctor. I thought it was my control-freakishness, but really Honey won't:

A. Ask the right questions
B. Rephrase the questions if they are misunderstood
C. Remember the exact questions and the exact information needed
D. Do it as well as me.


Banana said...

Hahaha. Maybe note cards would fix this problem. They aren't allowed to say anything but what is on the note card. Anything outside the scope of the cards is off limits :)

Erin said...

If I were you, I'd tell myself that doctors are notorious for forgetting their patients. So next time you go in, the doc will probably just look at the chart and not remember any other those other things. I'm sure the doctors get completely different sorts of reports from dads all the time anyway.

Also, on your show ratings, you've convinced me to put Dexter Season One in our netflix queue. I loved that actor in Six Feet Under, so I'm all excited to watch him again.

Kath said...

OMG! It's like "he said, she said"...the father's interpretation of the EXACT same behaviours is diametrically opposed to the (correct) interpretation of the mother. It's the same in our house, except my DH would quake in fear if I asked him to take one of our daughters to her checkup. He is aware of his own ignorance. I like to keep it that way ;)

Kristen said...

My goodness! Sounds like we are all the same in this regard:D I totally do not trust dh to 'say the right thing' I am always telling him what he should say in these instances and then marvelling at how wrong he gets it!
Guess it is just one of those things we need to do ourselves if we want it done right;)